We’re coming out of the fog…
But this is a period of limbo. I’ve had my ups and downs with traditional and modern medicine, but what can be done with eyes is nothing short of amazing. One eye has been operated on and my husband can now see out of it, better than he ever has been able to before. The only caveat is that it has to be extraordinarily close up.
The downside is that he is still in a bit of pain and that he is very sensitive to light. So we continue to live like anti-social vampires, at least for now.
It’s heartbreaking to see him still suffering, but like anything else that is unpleasant (or pleasant for that matter), it is temporary. He is receiving great care, and we just have to be patient as we anxiously await things getting back to normal.
An experience like this gives perspective. After being a caregiver for what seems like an eternity (even though it was a relatively short time), I easily forget that I don’t have to do everything for him. In a sense it makes me sad, but I also breathe a sign of relief. Some people are nurturing and meant to be caregivers. I am not one of those people.
For him, he is seeing things as he has never before. I’m not just talking about the physical sight, but the perspective he has gained. From disability awareness to what it is like to not be bogged down with work, things feel different now. He has to give himself much more patience and grace because things are just not going to move as quickly as they had in the past. He has to give himself breaks if the eyestrain becomes too much. He has to acknowledge that he can’t just push through.
The lesson in all of this, though difficult, is to not taking anything for granted. Losing one of the 5 senses can change everything overnight. It creates a situation where it becomes impossible to not become dependent. In a situation where the loss is temporary, it’s a reminder to be grateful for each moment and to not waste the precious moments of life doing things that are undesirable. It’s a reminder to remove toxicity that has been tolerated for so long. This like anything else is a movement from crisis to awakening.
