I got hit by a baseball. It hurt.
But I feel like it was a warning shot. Like the universe is telling me that I’m about to be a statistic.
Woman, 44, dies of a heart attack while sitting at computer. For the past few days, I’ve been suffering. I’ve got a new back pain that is more intense than the ones I’ve had previously. I’ had shortness of breath. It seems related to the back pain but it all seems connected to anxiety in some pay. Each day, when I step into my home office, I feel a sense of panic, a sense of worthlessness, and a sense of apathy.
I continue to stay in this abusive relationship and honestly, I am not sure why.
Money, of course has something to do with it. I like stability and security. The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t. Let’s also remember that I like what I do. It’s the sheer volume, the information overload, and having to work nights and weekends just to stay afloat that is killing me.
It’s killing all of us. This problem is not unique to my organization. We’ve worn burnout and overwork as a badge of honor for so long that now we don’t even know what reasonable looks like.
The ones who show up are punished with extra work and all the money in the world doesn’t make it better.
As I heal from the baseball wound, the above comes up in my card pull. It’s another sign. Something has to change. And while I would love to go dance naked in the moon light, I think it’s going to take more than that…
