It’s true that time does not lie…
But it is also true that time is not real. It was invented based on the cycles of earth revolving around the sun. Perhaps a better way fo understanding this is to say that gravity does not lie.
Sometimes when I look at my face, I don’t recognize who is looking back at me. it’s not all bad per se. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I like what I see. I see a wise middle aged woman who has had a tremendous life experience. Sometimes I see a miserable old hag. It depends on the day.
I know that I am loosing the battle with my gray hairs; they are way too aggressive at this point to overcome without intervention. Dyeing my hair crazy colors makes me feel younger and honestly I don’t give a fuck what others think.
The body might be the hardest part…
My belly grows rounder by the day. My breasts are no longer as perky as they once were. Things start to sag in ways that I never imagined. What young person dreams of getting old? The only way to prepare for it is to go through it. I still bleed but it feels like it may be coming to an end.
Much of this has to be accepted and not fought. However, I’ve discovered that much of aging is about attitude. So I choose…
- love. I am doing the best that I can to love all others, even the ones that I can’t stand. At the root of it I know that we have a shared humanity. This does not mean that I am free from judging or from protecting myself. I’m a work in progress.
- nudity. This has been one of my best discoveries. Going to a place where I don’t have to wear clothes is incredibly freeing. It’s a place where it doesn’t matter your age, your shape, your imperfections. Everyone is accepted because everyone is brave enough to share their vulnerability.
- the fuck it bucket. Now this is important, you’ll never be free if you are following someone else’s rules. You’ll never be free if you are not questioning your own rules every so often. Where do rules come from? Typically, they are a means for another human to exert control of you. Or perhaps you set them to enforce your own notion of self-control. Think about if that self control is meant to make you happy. Or to satisfy the rules of others. Janice Joplin said it well – “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose…”
- learning. Learning comes in so many forms. We learn by teaching others. We learn by necessity. We learn for pleasure. As an adult you are free to learn what you like. You are given a brain in order to think. Don’t squander it.
- the understanding that age doesn’t matter. Be mentored by your elders. Understand what it was like for them when they were young. Never look at someone as if they are too old. But also, learn from the young. Don’t discount their ideas. Understand that they might not have the same baggage and cynicism as you. I think about this often as I recognize that I might be on the brink of learning my best life lessons from someone close to 15 years younger than me.
This list will evolve, but this is a good start. Age is unavoidable. But maintaining youth is fully within your control…
