Last weekend was a gift. It is not typical for temperatures to be in the 70s in January in New England with mostly sunny skies but that was the beautiful reality. And I know that it is probably due to climate change, but I will shamelessly admit that I liked it. As I look out my window to 4 new inches of snow, I wish I had it back. Because I didn’t really get to enjoy it as I had planned.
I’ve really focused this year on being healthier; to less gluttony and more balance. I’m far from perfect but I have been more intentional and taking better care of myself. So of course, I manage to get myself sick. I could feel it coming on slowly throughout the week. The dull sore throat. The swollen glands. The sneezing, the runny nose. You get it. And me being me, I kept pushing through – working, going to yoga (the sweat probably was good for me, right) and not slowing down. So by the time that this beautiful weekend came, I was down for the count. Saturday night, I coughed the entire night and did not sleep. I woke up on Sunday exhausted, but determined to keep an afternoon commitment that I had made and get my dog out for a walk.
The dog walk happened. The commitment did not. By the time the walk was done, all I could do was collapse on the couch. I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to do anything. It didn’t matter that it was 70 and sunny outside. My sweet husband made me some tea and toast and we sat on the couch and watched E.T. in its entirety which was wonderfully nostalgic. For the days the followed, I focused on doing the right things to take care of myself and guess what, it worked! I stopped forcing myself to get better and I ALLOWED myself to heal.
Why is it that when another person is sick my demeanor is “aw, you poor thing. Get some rest; get better.” but when I am sick my self talk is along the lines of “you suck. You are weak. How could you let this happen?”
